❤❤

I kept telling myself that I need to have an awesome birthday this year because I had such a bad time last year when I got my heart smashed.

I feel like again, life owe it to me, I should have an awesome birthday this year.

But then again, so many things have happened during this period that has been enough to make me feel like okay, life has repaid enough.

So thank you thank you & thank you.
I know everything happens for a reason and what’s meant to be will be.

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OCTOBER FTW!

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One fabulous start to my awesome October!!
October has got to be the best month of the year because it’s my birthday month.

But sad to say, it’s gonna be cut short by 10days because I’m going Bangkok for my training for 2 weeks.
I’m dreading.
It’s like long way to go. But I know I’m gonna start my emo tantrum soon enough like last year when I had to go USA for my training.

I hate to leave home, I hate to leave the people I love here & I hate to miss them.
I don’t know how the cabin crews do it. They probably don’t have a lot of people to miss here!

But awww. Okay let’s not talk abt that for now.

Anyways, wonderful friends, wonderful celebration, wonderful present.
Feeling pretty loved by everyone ❤

100.17%

On this Thursday morning, I receive the wonderful email of my sales record, notifying me that I can happily celebrate my birthday this weekend, and can finally look at my bosses in the eyes.
Yes because I’ve achieved my sales target.

And I realised, this is how my life is gonna be from here on, every month, every quarter.

Anyway! As I was saying, finally, I can heave a sigh of relieve & celebrate me & Sherlyn’s birthday.

Thankful for the two hours long case delay that allow me to sit here at coffee bean of TTSH, sorting out all the details once & for all.
No more bouncing of ideas here & there. Indecisiveness annoys me very much & I don’t allow that in my life.

Thankful for a very compromising co-birthday-BFF for always going with whatever I planned (yes I did ask for her opinion of course!).

Everything’s pretty much settled, other than my sudden realization that I haven’t cut a birthday cake for the longest time & I haven’t had a cake that I can call mine for the longest time!

If my memory serves me well, my last birthday cake was the (self proclaim) famous Candy cake for my 21st birthday:

TADAH!

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And then, none for the next 3 years :(

But! The sad thing is, it’s kinda too late for such beautiful customized cake already. It would be really mean of me to insist any baker to do it for me on such short notice.

So I guess boohoo, no cake this year.
Maybe on my 26th.

Anyway, I’m super NOT excited about the birthday celebration because it consist of wearing bikini in public for 3-4hrs T_T
Remember how I was saying back in August that i have an entire month of September to lose weight and it considered chicken feat?

Ya well that kinda failed. My thighs have become more bff than ever and there’s no way to separate them.

Anyhoooo, one more day to weekend! Though I have a presentation on Saturday, but f it, just get it over & done with!

TOMORROW

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ME. FRIDAY, SATURDAY, SUNDAY, MONDAY, eventually EVERYDAY.
Fml

BEST DRUNK

It happened about 3 weeks ago on 6th Sep. It was a Friday evening, the first drinking session with my new company.

It was actually my first drinking session that is working related.

Anyways, venue was Beer Market, Clark Quay, a bar that I’m all too familiar with.

After a few beer, they brought out the hard liquor. And after too many of the “IF YOU BOTTOM THIS UP I’LL PASS YOUR CONFIRMATION!” from my bosses & fellow colleagues, I became heavily intoxicated.

I was still able to maintain my image, thanks to the tiny voice in my brain telling me I cannot ruin myself in front of my colleagues & bosses.

But after a few more rounds of challenges, I was down for the night.
But by then, most of my colleagues was gone, so they did not see the hideous drunkard in me.

On Saturday morning, I woke up in the midst of my own vomitus. Not so good. Took a jab & clean myself up.

There were a little of hell that followed, mainly doubts of my alcohol tolerant level, and of course my self-defense against touchy guys which I was so proud of but evidently non-existent during my intoxicated state.

On Monday morning, I was named the Best Drinker of my team by my bosses.

So it was confusing for me. I thought I’d have to face the walk of shame down my office corridor for my lousy alcohol tolerant level but wonderful surprise instead.

But anyway, after that incident, I get seriously doubted & not trusted whenever I go for “drinking session with colleagues”, also known as “gonna get shittyly drunk & taken advantage of”.

STILL.

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Still loving this track ❤

WHERES IS MY LOTUS

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That’s the moon tonight.
Happy Mid Autumn Festival :)

I’m in a depressive mode now because I just realized that there isn’t any lotus paste mooncake in my house.

I just don’t understand why the hell are all the fancy hotels coming up with stupid weird mooncake flavor like jackfruit etc.

It is not supposed to be fanciful or creative. It is a tradition. Sigh. I miss my lotus paste mooncake.
And I’m gonna go get one tomorrow. Manically depressed now.

OF NO RETURN

What is it like to be 25?

It is like having a cut & worrying about it leaving a scar because your body is no longer that regenerative.

It is like inserting a tampon & thinking how loose your vagvag has become even before giving birth.

It’s like having fried food for dinner & tummy upset the next day because your digestive system is no longer in full function.

It’s like seriously thinking about questions such as where will you be in 5 years’ time & not coming up with answers like “I’m gonna be a superstar” or “I’m gonna be a princess”.

It’s like looking at your bank account and reminding yourself what a failure you have been.

It’s like attending baby showers & getting questions like “what’s your turn!” filled with much more enthusiasm and seriousness than you’d like to.

It’s like spending endlessly on body oils & lotions in an attempt to salvage all the youth that you have currently.

It’s like feeling wasted for all the unfertilized eggs that you pass out every month.

It’s like checking for lumps & bumps.

It’s like reconsidering all your choice of work clothes that you bought just one year ago.

Nah, it’s not all bad.

Being 25 also makes you consider every action that you take because you are supposed to be a responsible full time adult now and any actions you take will reflect on your maturity.

Now that has got to be a good thing isn’t it?

Being 25 also makes you happier when people thinks that you’re just a fresh grad or that you look like early twenties.

Being 25 gives you enough life lessons to make you know what you want in life & be confident enough with your decision.

I think 25 is a good age. The last of early 20s. Before stepping into the rocket of no return, heading straight to the 3.

I WOULDNT HAVE STOPPED DANCING

I’m so disappearing.
So reluctantly disappearing into the background like that dusty frame you forgot existed.

I think I’m getting less chatty. My thoughts have become more diverse. And I’ve lost my former focal point.

I guess at some point of our life, we will eventually begin to stop being the lead actress and just sort of existing beyond the camera’s focus.

I don’t know. I may have lost track of my thoughts just midway of typing.

I’m not depressed as I may sound like now, I’m just a little overwhelmed by everything that is happening right now.

Oh you don’t know. The excitement, the happiness, the joy, the anxiousness, the fear, the second thoughts, etc.
Both for my work matters & my personal life.

I think it’s a good sign and I’m looking forward to the stabilization I’m gonna get few months later. But for now it’s just, wow.

Friday tomorrow!
I already forgot when was the last TGIF I had with my girlfriends just drinking & partying away.

Life changes are so awkward & unpredictable.
If I knew the last party was gonna be my last party before all these, I wouldn’t have stopped dancing.

THIRTYTWOFLAVORSANDTHENSOME

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HEARTBRKS

I’m not sure if I did the right thing today.
I believe I may have encouraged a dear friend of mine into a relationship, the long distance kind.

But I have always been the naive firm believer of romance.
And the “follow your heart even if you know that it’s going the wrong way” type.

I believe that you can’t prevent heartbreaks. And I have such positive view of heartbreak that I literally told her to go ahead, get your heart broken, you’re gonna enjoy it!

You cannot fear heartbreak. It’s like you’re fearing tummy upset, so you don’t wanna eat, but you’re hungry.

Ummm not too sure if that’s an accurate example, but something along that line.

Good luck to her! She’s gonna thank me one day. Maybe. Hah.

Happy falling in love people.
I’ve had my heart smashed so many more times than any of my friends but I may be the most fearless among them all.
You can’t resist destiny. And you can’t prevent heartbreak.

HM

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DUE

Everything just seems too surreal.
I feel like the alarm is gonna go off anytime soon. And I should constantly be armed.

We don’t know how bad this could potentially be.

All I know is, I have a huge sales figure presentation tomorrow morning & I can’t think for another minute anymore.

So sleep well.
Don’t wake me up.

TWEENS

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WHEEOW

Things has been soooo.. CRAY-CRAY
that I don’t have the time to update my blog.

Well, never mind, all has been said & done.
We’re now all left with decisive conclusions in our lives, that may be the scar that burns every night for the rest of your life.

For what’s worth, I absolutely did not enjoy the process of it.

Now, I’m kinda blissfully reaping what I sow, and that’s good enough for as long as it goes.

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