Last but not least

“If I had known the last time I saw you would be the last time, I would have stopped to memorize your face, the way you move, everything about you. If I had known the last time I kissed you would have been the last time… I never would have stopped.” – Mike Hannigan

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Horror F

You will soon have to make a choice, Libra. What you decide may not be the most popular option, but you have to follow your heart. This may cause some tension in your circle of friends or work associates, but this is no time to go along with the crowd just to keep the peace. Since this involves a value you hold dear, you must do what you know is right. It may take a while for others in your group to catch on to the ethics here, but they will eventually. If you feel alone until that time, take solace in knowing you did the right thing.

Oh My God.
That definitely DON’T SOUND GOOD.
Don’t tell me I’m gonna be repeating my mistakes again…..

Why on this particular day that he is supposed to come and collect his stuff…. Crap.

Anyway, although its friday, I don’t quite feel it. Because I know I’m gonna have a tough week next week.

I thought since its the week before CNY, I should take a chill-pill and just go around happily distributing my CNY cookies.

But no! That’s not what god planned.
Out of the 5 days, 3 days will be occupied by cases, including entertaining visitor, and also I have 3 days of this conference. How busy is that!

Oh my. Major depression. No more cny mood can :(

I’m not even happy to be sleeping already. I close my eyes and I think of the dreadfulness for nxt week and I just wanna….. Uugh.

Kent

Good morning Thursday. Good day to you. Good day to us.

I remember exactly 5 years ago, I’m happily enjoying the proceed of a developing fondness for him. The beginning of a relationship, the excitement, the shyness, the tingling feeling, butterflies in the stomach, the anticipation of impending Valentine’s Day, the endless messages everyday, the imagination of what it would be, the smiling at my phone. Oh what a phase.

5 years later here I am typing all these down, reminiscing these precious memories, feeling very much the opposite of all that. Today I am here, filled with anger, disappointment, rage, misery and a lot of other negative feelings that I’d not type out.

This is what love does to you. It gives you a few years of good time, and then snatch it all away in an instant. It’s like a demon that doesn’t want you to be happy.

Was on the bus just now and saw a SQ steward, and he made me wonder if he is an ass too? He has got his wedding ring on. But still, he doesn’t make me thing higher of him.

Currently, I’m so off-balance, that I don’t know what can help with the rage inside of me.

He is supposed to collect his stuff by this weekend. I hope he does.

Anyway, am heading Kent Ridge for NUH. Important visit. Keeping my fingers crossed. Most importantly, hope that the doctor is in today!

Shits!

So raise your glass if you are wrong,
In all the right ways,
All my underdogs,
We will never be never be anything but loud
And nitty gritty dirty little freaks

Been stuck in my head. There are so many things to raise your glass to! Forget the world, forget your downs, forget the shits.

Why so serious?

Gonna sleep now. I think it has been a bad day for one of my girl.
In fact, all of us agree that this has been a bad week for all of us! I wonder why. Hopefully it’s the pre-festive-blues. First time I heard of that but oh well.

Tomorrow is only Thursday. I can’t believe how slow this week has been!
It’s funny how a good/normal week would just zoom right pass us while such a horrible week would like ccrraawwllll bbbyyyy.

Just fuck and be over bitch!

Chase

Just finish reading The Wild Sheep Chase for the n-th time. As wonderful as ever. He leaves no space for mediocracy. Everything is as brilliant as it ought to be, in an out of your imagination way.

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I wish that Rat didn’t die. If I was the author I would definitely let Rat live and get the sheep killed in another way. But that’s me. Expected endings that lets you sleep in peace at the end of the day. Not him, his endings would make you stay awake, pondering, going through the scenarios again and again. Ahh, brilliance.

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Everybodylovesthesheepman.

And that marks the end of my wild sheep chase.

I need to get out of this serious dampness that I’m stuck with.
Tomorrow will be Wednesday. Third day of the week.

Maced

I feel blue :(

A Tuesday can’t get worser than this. I can’t even find the energy in me to get off my bed even though I’m wide awake. I’ve lost my energy source. And it feels damn bad.

Just when you think you can’t possible get any lower, life goes all out to prove you that you can. And there it is, a new low.

I can’t wait for this week to be over. Actually, I can’t wait for all the matters to be resolved. Doesn’t matter if it’s this week or not.

Pffft. I think I just need a comfort hug. Or some comfort food. Or a day off.

Phases

Maybe love is over-rated?

You know what, Taylor Swift needs to stop singing about whatever bullshit fairy tales and start singing about real stuff like how that Jonas could break up with her over a 27-seconds long phone call.
She needs to stop drilling false stuff into the brains of the innocent youth. They need to grow up knowing that true love/fairy tales don’t exist.

How many more generations need to suffer under the hands of fairy tales? Somebody needs to put a stop to this.

I mean you know, the man you are gonna marry is probably not your true-love, not your Mr Right.

He just happens to be the right guy, you met at the right time.

For instance, I would have marry Rudy if I met him when I’m 25. We would have dated for 2 years and then will proceed on to get marry because it’s the right time, me being 27 and he being 32. And I would think that I’m marrying my dream guy because 2 years of courtship is too short to discover any major flaws or that 2 years is still short enough for him to be faithful.

So I would have marry him.

It’s all about the timing honestly. I would have marry JL if I met him when I’m 25. Duh and then ended up in bankruptcy when I’m 32?

So obviously there’s no fairy tales. Unless you marry your boyfriend of 10yrs, then that’s a fairy tale for you.

So there isn’t a “The One”, it’s all about your life timing. Right person, at the right time.

Just suddenly felt sad about marriages as im beginning to see many failed marriages happening around me.
It’s very depressing to know that nowadays, marriage doesn’t mean till death parts us.

I don’t know what it meant now, probably meant differently to different people.

Nowadays death don’t parts them, a third party does, a mother in law does, a paper does.

It’s so depressing to know that the noble pure love that the great Shakespeare wrote of is nothing but a moment of intensified feelings that usually last up to 3 years, max.

They should make divorce illegal.

Or people should stop abusing the rights to divorce.

My Recent Weekends

I’m starting to wonder, what are weekends for really?

Is it a time to rest? Or a time to socialize? Or a time to party? Or a time to be with family?

If its all of the above, then shouldn’t we get more weekends?

Recently all my weekends are filled with partying, drinking, unhealthy lifestyle, sleeping late and painting nails.

I’m not sick of it but I just feel that is that the way to go? Am I beginning to have self-doubts on my own lifestyle, my own personalty and my character?

Too much self-doubts.

Well anyway the next few weekends are gonna be healthy, atleast the plan is so.

It’s pre-cny weekends, so it’s really a lot of reunions, social gatherings, family activities.

Denial

There’s something in my mind that I just can’t get it out of my system yet I can’t tell what it is exactly.

I mean, not that it’s a secret but really, I don’t know what it is. Just something bugging me.

Every weekend, it’s a torture for me. He seems to feel that weekend is the best time to mind fuck me and he obviously enjoy doing so.

**

On a not-so-separate topic, I find it incredibly weird to find someone that you think you’ve known for a long while, turning into somebody else.

And you’ll be thinking that did he/she changed or is that who he/she originally just that you didn’t know or that he/she didn’t reveal it just yet.

I am, I don’t know what to say, intrigued by it, or disgusted by it. Maybe both.

Whatever it is, what’s most important is the present and the future. So it doesn’t matter how the person was originally, what’s important is what he/she evolved into.

We shouldn’t be keeping people who have negative impact on you around you. That’s what all experts say according to all articles.
And that you should get rid of people who are sucking you dry, or people that pull you down.

And this year, I’m never gonna do anything for anyone else except for myself. I think I’ve been too focused with everybody in the past that I forgot to love myself more. So this year, it’s gonna be my year and I’m gonna rule it.

So what I’m gonna do is, I’m gonna make some changes. So if you don’t hear from me anymore, you’re probably one of the change.

**

Oh Sundays are always so emo.

Maybe because it’s Monday again tomorrow and we all have to work again.
Damn I was so motivated last weekdays but now that I’ve passed the weekends, my motivation is gone.

Anyway I’m gonna be busy this week again. Hopefully.

Me and Carefree

Just came back home from work. Ahhh I think its a good morning. I feel satisfied. For everything done and now I can just relax and sleep away.

OH I’m mad happy I found my beloved Pantyliner all the way in Novena’s Cold Storage! Awesome.
Oh you don’t know how many watsons/guardian I went just to find it!

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I tell you, it’s the BEST Pantyliner ever.

Its scented shower-fresh and it’s so comfortable and thick yet thin. Its also super sticky to your underwear that it doesn’t flip around and causes you discomfort.

I love it.

Though I should really ought to stock up, I didn’t because I was all the way in TTSH and very unwilling to take cab home just because of pantyliners.

Okay I gotta go get some sleep.
Oh a Saturday afternoon. Best.

Freak.

My horoscope for today:

Saturday Jan 7 2012

Forgiveness is not meant to reward or soothe the one that needs forgiving. As a Libra, you’re all about justice, fairness, and balance, but you also believe in forgiving and moving on. However, there’s some issue now that is on your mind, and you can’t seem to forgive the person who caused it or instigated it. You may believe that by forgiving you’ll somehow tell this individual that it’s all okay, and that he or she is off the hook. But that’s not the case. By forgiving, you can move on and move forward toward better things. It doesn’t really matter what the other person thinks; it matters only that your choice makes life easier and better for you.

Like what the ffffff.

So freakishly true that I’m getting goosebumps.

Anyway it’s just a horoscope. Nights.
Dead beat.

Why did I stay out so late. Gosh.
And why do I need to work tmr!

Oh Crap

Feeling crappy because I have work undone. I don’t like the feeling of having to leave things hanging but I don’t have a choice because I can’t do anything.

So here it is, Friday for me.

I’m in Alexander Hospital by the way. Waiting for my case to start. Please let it be good! Its the last day and I deserve some good shit man!

I hope this patient recover well and doesn’t need another operation.

Some times I forget what it’s like to be a nurse. But yet I’m in this mixed position where I need to be a vendor and a nurse.

Of course surgeons don’t expect me to be a nurse anymore but I would like to think that I’m more than your average vendor. I would like to think that I too care about your patient as well as my sales.

Hehe.

Happy Friday everybody!

I’m missing all the fun man!

Okay okay gotta run now.

If I lose you, baby

 

:(

This song is so depressing.
It reminds me of someone.

Just get your ass back home

 

I don’t know where you’re going
Or when you’re coming home
I left the keys under the mat to our front door
For one more chance to hold you close
I don’t know where you’re going

Just get your ass back home.

What THE.

OKAY.
Fucking stress now! Wow I’ve literally never felt like this before.
A mixture of USELESSNESS + ANGER + HELPLESS + HURT.

I AM HURT! I am hurt!

Needs to relax. Needs to take a chilll-pilll.

Seriously it’s not my fault, okay, maybe my fault a little bit that I am not equipped with that necessary information needed. But still, it’s not entirely my fault okay.

Sobs. Need to stop thinking about it. Small mistake, just learn and move on.

Remember Candy, take things lightly, IT’S OKAYYY.

 

Anyway, Friday is here soon. And it just means that it’s time to relax.
I’ve been working so hard this week! I stayed till like almost 7pm everyday okay.

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