4. Okay 5.

Ran 5 places today. That’s a sale rep for you!

Entire morning running hospitals like a mad woman lugging heavy grafts and plugs. Ugh! And it’s not even my products.

Yesterday and today already spent like $70 on cab fares. Like what! $70! To and fro NUH already $50 :((
Hate NUH now because its so damn far and well, didnt see dream boat at all. Mad upset.

It seems like I’m crazily super supportive of the taxi fare increment.

My feet are so sore from all the walking. Sobs! Shdnt have worn my Stevie today.

So I’m back home with a peanut butter with jam sandwich.
Watched a bit of the China’s talent show.
Oh my God I can’t stand it! There are so many talented poor people in China! I mean all of them live in little village but are totally talented and they just wanna do their little village proud. I teared for almost all the contestants! It’s like they really really wanna win and they really just want the world to know about their village, they little place of heaven that they grew up in and they just wanna make the villagers proud.

I’m so touched. There’s even a shepherdess. Is that what you call a female shepherd?
Anyway she’s totally touching. She can sing so well and all she wanna do is learn English.
So awwwwwww!

But I couldn’t take it anymore so I switched channel. I don’t know how many more contestants do I need to cry for. Good luck to all the contestants! Im sure their villages are very proud of them.

Anyway I’m so busy this week! As I said, because both my colleagues are away for training. And whoo! Terumo party on Friday night! Still haven’t got an idea of what to wear for the Retro theme. Seriously.

Can’t wait for the next two weeks. Totally festive can.

New aim for life:

LOVE MYSELF.

According to articles, you can never have a meaningful relationship until you start to love yourself.

So, Candy Lee, I love you!

xoxo

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Natural Beauty can suck my balls

I almost forgot how my face look like originally. I became so fake with all the thick make up and fake eyelash and all the cover ups that I think that is actually my original look.

Until this weekend, when I had to go down to my void deck to collect items for tomorrow’s case, that I realise how insecure I am with my original face. I am actually in total denial that that’s how I am. Although fresh from bed, I was comtemplating putting make up down just to collect the items because I really don’t want my colleagues to see my face like this! It’s like I’m naked.

And when I was having dinner just now with my parents, I began looking at their faces and asking myself who do I look like? Mom or Dad? And that’s when I realise I don’t look like them anymore because of all my cover-ups.

And I was telling my neighbour that he is one of the very very few guy that gets to see me with my pjs, oily face, oily hair, without make-up/eyelashes, just freshly out of bed or total slack at home. Seriously I think I’ll never ever let anyone else sees that.

I think I’m just either seriously vain, or seriously insecure about my looks.
And although everybody keeps saying that we should all embrace natural beauty but what are you suppose to embrace if you don’t even have that beauty to embrace? It would be like saying embrace your natural ugliness.

I say, natural beauty are only applicable to those who really do have natural beauty. Let’s not fake confidence. Even super models wear minimal make-ups when they go to mama shops. And paparazzis get their best photos by taking photos of celebs without make ups looking horrendous walking on the street. I am serious.

So who are we to embrace natural beauty?

The lowest I would go is without my contact lens, with my huge-ass specs. And that’s solely cause of my eyes dryness. For the moment, I can’t go out without concealer or my bb cream. You’ll just get judged for being ugly instantly nowadays. For having pimples, for having cracked lips, for not having eyebrows, for having too much eyebrows, for having single eye lids, for having short eyelashes, for having small eyes, for having button nose, for having round face.

So suck it natural beauty, if I have you I wouldn’t be here, I would be in magazines. I have NO natural beauty and I am not sorry for that. I am loving my fake eyelashes, my concealer, my bb cream, my everything else in that make-up bag.

Hush-hush

Was just talking to my cousin, apparently he also just broke up with his girlfriend because of mature reasons (FOR E.G: No communication due to heavy workload, different thinking etc) not because of stupid immature reason (E.G: Cheating) and we were both thinking like we are so screwed for CNY this Jan.

I just can’t get over the dreadfulness of this CNY. I mean I think of my 23 CNY, this upcoming one is the most dreadful. I somehow feel like I’m beginning to hate all family gathering because of mainly, my sister. I mean like seriously! I would totally love to runaway for this CNY or any upcoming family gathering.

So tomorrow is big case day and I’m totally not prepared at all.
I need to stop dreading next week and let it come as it is. Whatever come will come.

Really freak whenever I receive message from Prof. Like totally scary. I might pee in my pants tomorrow :(

 

 

The room’s hush, hush
And now’s our moment
Take it feel it all and hold it
Eyes on you, eyes on me
We’re doing this right.
<3

 

 

 

I love this movie. I know it’s a sad movie but I love it. I’ve watched it like 10 times but I still can’t get enough. I think it’s very real, it’s very moving, and it hits a special nerve in me. I don’t know how to put it.

New Girl

I feel strange. I feel new. Like a total new geek. Really strange. Like I’m not ready and like I’m never gonna be ready or like I don’t ever wanna be ready or like vulnerable.

Seriously being cheated 4 times by a man really takes it out of you.
You get all these really seriously insecure feeling and like it’s a by-default that every man you talk to, cheats. And that even when they message you, you’ll be thinking like they are messaging other girls too.

Seriously I’m totally messed up. He seriously single-handedly ruin my entire love life. Totally and completely. And I feel like such a dickhead for letting him do that to me.

Boohoo.

I’m sad but it’s okay. I think I shouldn’t be talking to any guys now. Except for work reason. I just feel so fucked.

Spine! Pain! Pain!

Oh I had such an awful sleep! I slept at 430AM this morning and been waking up so often because I’m suppose to receive items for Monday’s case and I don’t know what time it’ll come.

And I think I had such a bad sleeping position and waking up to such horrible neck aches and back aches.

And I lay in bed until like 4PM.
Which made it worse.

Totally not in the mood to go out today but yet unwilling to stay at home on a Saturday night in December.

December is such a wonderful month! So festive and happy. Except next week. Which I’m really dreading. It’s like after next week, things are gonna be good. Truly hope so.

I really pray that I won’t get a case next week. Seriously. I’m willing to eat vegetarian if it gives me good luck.

Did I mention that for the past 2 times that I went NUH and has vegetarian food, both time I bump into my dreamboat. Isn’t that like omg?? I think it’s awesome and I’m gonna have vegetarian beehoon everytime I go NUH :))

Good day everybody!

Secret Santa!

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Hi there Santa,

I’ve been really good this year! I clean my room, changed my bed sheet 2 weekly, waited long hours to see surgeons, donated every month to the National Heart Foundation, did not litter, and I’ve had such a tough year! I think I do deserve really good presents this year!

I really wish you would deliver my presentS to Ascott Raffles on Christmas Eve because my girlfriends and I will be celebrating together. Oh and I’m cooking main course Spaghetti for them! See I’m a good girl :)

Wish list ~

• Chloe Perfume
• Salvatore Furugamo’s Heaven Perfume
• Bridget Jones Diary l
• Bridget Jones Diary ll
• Dance Dance Dance by Haruki Murakami
• Hard-boiled Wonderland and the End of the World by Haruki Murakami
• A Wild Sheep Chase by Haruki Murakami
• Name card holder
• Organiser from Kikki.K
• Powder holder from Happy Bath Day

I know I previously wrote that I want the Body Mist from Happy Bath Day but I hope it’s not too late to cancel it as I realize it didnt smell rosy at all :(

I know it’s a long list Santa but I paid tax last year. 3 DIGITS amount of taxes and I think that should help! And I really can’t make decisions so surprise me!

I promise I’ll be a better girl next year :)

THANKSSSS~

XOXO,
Your favorite good girl

Arthur Christmas!

Went for our “routine” today with Angie and we went to watch Arthur Christmas in preparation for the festive mood.

Well it’s nth spectacular but it’s still a Christmas movie and I should think it’s worth the watch :)

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It’s all about Santa, Santa’s sons, Santa’s father and of course the elves.

I wish that Santa do exist. I wish that I can have a wish that will actually come true and I wish that we will always live in cartoons with reindeers & slays & magic dust & Santa & the chimney secrets.

It seems so easy to believe that all these do exist. That we all can go to the North Pole and Santa might be there. Wouldn’t it be cool to see the factory where they wrap all the presents? And the elves. Well if the elves do exist then it’s kinda creepy. Because they ain’t human.

Anyway who created Santa? I don’t think his from the bible is he?
One of my friend who is in marketing, told me that Santa is actually created by Coka Cola company in an attempt to sell their products but somehow Santa got way too famous that nobody remembers that he is from the commercial.

Well I never ever believe in Santa even when I was a kid. Instead, I believe that Santa only exist in a place far away where the “ang moh” lives. Because Santa is “ang moh” lol. So maybe only the “ang moh” kids will the presents. Plus, only the “ang moh” have houses with chimney where the Santa can climb down.
We don’t have chimney, it’ll be funny if the Santa were to knock on our doors or like climb up the HDB.

So I always feel sad and thinks its so unfair that we are Asians and have no chimney. But thank God I grew up and got pretty smart.

Santa don’t exist even if we have chimney at home.

Anyway, woohoo! IT’S FRIDAY BABY!
Wow I think week does pass fast when we are working and in our 20s.
Thats where the rule of “time don’t stop” and “before you know it, you are 30.” comes in.

I’d better enjoy this weekend. Super dreading next week because of the big case in Monday. And that I’m covering for the 3 of us. I really pray that there won’t be anymore cases from them.

Pumpkin

Aww suddenly I feel so sad that I’m spending this festive season alone! Well not exactly alone, I’ll be with my girls, but still, like alone alone!

And then soon it’ll be Chinese New Year and everybody will be asking when am I getting married and my witch sister will be like showing off her love and I’ll be the fat and ugly lonely little sister that everybody is worried for.

Oh I dread CNY this year :( Sobs.

And then it will be damn Valentine’s day again. Damn it I’ll be all alone again.

Okay enough of my lonesome rants.

I’ve been sleeping so much! I slept like 9PM last night and I took a nap again this afternoon when I got home. God I feel like a sick cat. Like a lazy sick cat.

Speaking of cat, I really really do wanna get a pet. Either a cat, or a dog now that I don’t have a Muslim boyfriend anymore. I still prefer a cat but it’ll be nice to be able to walk my dog! Like in the evening. It’ll be funny to walk my Persian cat ain’t it?

Plus all the stray cats will be jealous of my cute well-protected Persian kitty and they’ll try to harm her. If I walk a dog, they’ll be afraid of him and will not bully him.

I don’t know why but when I think of my cat, I’m imagining a female cat. But when I think of a dog, it’s a male dog.

Okay night peeps.

I need to de-obsess certain group of people. Yes I need to.

Snow Man

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Feeling so Christmassy <3
Can't wait!

Poofy

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All taken from NUH MOT yesterday :)
It’s fun when it’s both of us standing in for case. But not so fun anymore when it’s gonna be just me next week while she’s off to KL for training.

Gotta go!

The Radio Moment

Yup currently is my nightly radio moment where I’ll blast my hp in an attempt to cover up the “honey~ honey~ honey~”. It’s really torturous. Not that I’m being a sour grape that I don’t have a “honey” anymore. Ive always always been disgusted by it and currently, it just piss me off even more.

I think I have the best friends in the world. And I’m not just saying it for the sake of saying it (because if that’s the case, I would have posted it on FB and let everybody see) but I actually mean it. I mean, my friends actually DO love me for who I am! How can that ever be because from what I know, I’m an ass.

I’m very short tempered very impatient very not understanding very irritable and very ego very prideful very attention seeking very bad secret keeper very noisy very demanding very bitchy and well, just in general, very bad personality. I would really hate myself if I’m my friend. I’ll probably be bitching about myself.

But I think my friends actually accept me for that (maybe they do bitch behind me but they still show their love in front of me!). Im so thankful because I’m sure if it’s other people, they’ll totally be cutting me out of their group already.

And they stood by me no matter how many times I got my heart broken. And supported me even though I went back to that jackass again and again knowing that I’ll get hurt again. And then being there with me again when i got hurt again. That’s so awww!

It’s just so difficult to actually like me for who I am. I love all of them for who they are too okay. They have their bads but I love it all anyways.

So, I promise myself that I’ll be a better person with better character and better personality and treat my friends better next year :)

I really just suddenly realize that I suck big time. Seriously how can anyone stand me. I behave like I’m a queen.

IM SO SORRY!

Ok good night <3

A for Apple

As I was saying…

I’ve never officially own any Apple product before but I do have iPad and iPhone with me for some reason and today, marks the start of my official Apple journey!

So far, it’s like the same as iPhone 4. Have not try out the Siri yet because of all the bad reviews and also felt kinda weird and shy talking to the handset. Haha!

I’ve spent so much this weekend and almost forgot that this month is Xmas month and I’m suppose to spend money on celebration and not on physical items! Can’t wait for my credit cards to arrive. Ugh it’s tiring waiting for money to drop for the tree.

Anyway, tomorrow is Monday again. We all dread it, but it still arrive anyway. So happy Monday blues tomorrow. 3 more weeks to end of the yr. I’m feeling it.

My M by MJ

Lol. Okay the title is just a joke.
Anyway mad happy because I just bought this wallet from Marc by Marc Jacobs which I’ve been aimming since my unemployment days! So it feels great to be able to earn money myself and buy it.

Very happy. And according to friends, it’s very “ME”.

I’m at work now in my office. So fun to be in the office doing quite nothing except typing some emails and some paperwork and re-packing my desk (again) and also eating bread and playing Xmas carols :)

Wow mad happy that when I went bedok interchange for my skin doc today, heard the shops playing CNY songs. Awesome! But I’m kinda confused because i was totally in Xmas mood until I heard the CNY songs. It’s kinda overlapping.

I’m going home soon and gonna rent some festive movies for tonight’s sleepover :) Been so long since we had sleep overs! We’re like old girls now.

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