Red Eyed

Damn I took my first MC today. Aww. Sad. First time feeling so sad that I took MC. But it was bad. So bad that I can’t even open my eyes this morning and dropping eye drops made me cry. But anyway, even though off sick, I’m still replying emails, reading up stuff my boss send me and doing some work from home. See, professionalism.

Apparently, my doctor says it’s due to the Accutane that I’m taking that causes all these dry-eyes and thus the abrasions and discomfort. And she says there’s nothing much that I can do except to either no wear lenses anymore until off medication, or hourly drops while on lenses.

I’m gonna go with the latter. Can’t imagine having zero sales for the next few months. Specs, too ugly.

Anyway my doctor actually advise me if I’m not taking contraceptive pills  then I should take other forms of contraception to which I sadly replied that it’s okay I don’t need any form of contraception because I just broke up with my boyfriend *sobs!





I can tell you, all of them are superficial. I haven’t dated many chinese guys before (BECAUSE I USUALLY END UP IGORING THEM AFTER THE FIRST FEW INTERACTIONS) but those that I’ve talked with usually turn me off.

Their first few questions are usually very “innocent”, just asking oh what’s your job oh how old are you oh what you doing now etc. But soon, they will slowly starting showing their true self and asking more detail questions or you know, talking in a way that wants you to answer them some questions.

I recently had one encounter where the guy did his usual innocence , and then started asking questions like

“oh your friend looks so tall. What’s your height? Is it your friend really so tall?”

or a

“oh how come you look so different with specs?”


TOTALLY TURN OFF CAN. What’s with all the personal appearance related questions? How tall am I is none of your business and wtf how I look in my specs is none of your business too.

I mean, who gives such comments? Are we still in the IRC world where we talk about

“hi intro?”, “16/f”, “ht/wt?”, “attached? or single?” ETC BULLSHIT.

I mean, being so into looks and physical appearance is just so outdated and seriously so IRC. Who talks like that now? I thought being 23 is already quite grown up and we do not look for people and make friends with people judging merely on physical looks. But what do I know? Turns out being 25, 26, 27, 28 or even 29, people still make friends based on these simple superficial rules.

Oh maybe he did try to hide it.

How am I suppose to answer a question like “how come you look so different in specs?”

“Oh because when I wear a specs, I become a guy.”



Okay seirously turned off by these superficial beings.

I usually don’t approve friend-requests from strangers (ESP CHINESE GUYS) but I thought it’s been so long since I’m in this “single-game” I thought maybe I need a change and give these guys a chance. BUT WTH, SCREW YOU. They haven’t change a bit.


That’s why I am always against chinese guys. They are too superficial. I mean almost 8 out of 10 of the chinese guys are superficial, EVEN THOUGH THEY LOOK LIKE SHIT THEMSELVES. Strange world seriously.


And well, all those who laugh and say that I’m fat (like weibin) are all chinese too. You don’t see any malays posting on my wall to say that I’m fat and ugly that kind of mean things. I don’t know. It’s not that I’m against chinese guys, it’s just that there haven’t been nice to me. Haha.


Okay maybe other races are the same too. But well, I don’t know.



Anyway, due to the eye infections, I have to remove my eyelash. I don’t like to tell people that I have eye infections and then having them telling me that “oh it’s your eyelash!”.

Okay I’m ego in that way. Don’t say it’s my lenses too because I’ve been wearing lenses for like 10 years and I think I know how to take care of them.

IT’S MY MEDICATION. And don’t tell me that I shouldn’t be taking that kind of medication.



I’ll be willing to try anything even if having to drink virgin pee if that’s a sure fire way!




Oh I had some seriously strange dream.

I dream that God, impersonated as a girl (but somehow in my dream I know that she is God), told me to give him another chance and forgive him.

Obviously it freaked me out when I woke up! God leh! How many chance do we get to dream of God, some more give me advice leh! Oh freak! Why not give me 4 numbers!
But very very sadly this advice is not one that I can heed. I mean, if it’s a dream that God ask me to give up drinking, or warn me of some mishap, or advice me to cut my hair, I will seriously consider it!

But well, this, this is so different! How can God ask me to forgive him? Totally didn’t get a chance to ask God why make me fall in love with such a jerk and then break my heart 4 times. Totally should ask. Doesn’t God wants me to be happy?

Or is God hinting that I will never find another guy again and I should forgive him or end up an old maid? SHIT. TOTALLY DIDN’T THINK ABOUT THIS WHEN I WAS TELLING IT TO VAL.

It’s a bad dream. Seriously how many of us ever dream of God?? This is so bad. Should have just given me 4 numbers :(


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