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Status: On my bed. Being unhappy about all the outstanding issues.

OUTSTANDING ISSUE:

– Job
– Money [should resolve end of Sep]
– Pimples [unable to resolve. VERY outstanding]
– Fatness [unable to resolve but acceptable]
– Issue with Mr R [not my fault. Ball’s in his court]

Okay. That sums up everything that’s been going on in my life currently. Within this week, I’m gonna settle job, pimples & Mr R. Okay that settles.

Love my Sundays at home. Watched a couple of movies, ate my all-time-favourite Fish & Chips. Drank my Coke. Today is a lazy day.

Fighting a battle tomorrow. Wish me luck ♥

Currently I feel ugly. Mainly cus of the pimples. And also, well, I need a new look! I’m so bored already.

So I’m thinking brown hair, I’m thinking long fringe, I’m thinking centre-parting, I’m thinking hair straightening, I’m think parallel double-eyelids, I’m thinking extended lower eyelash, I’m thinking thick bushy straight eyebrows.

Well that settles. Time will heal my ugliness.

My diet plan isn’t working, mainly because I DON’T HAVE ONE. How am I suppose to diet? Can’t picture myself doing that. So instead, I went on to think about my replies to people who asked me to lose weight.

Reply 1: Lose weight? I just lost 10kg due to gastric ulcer! My doctor say if I lose some more weight she’s gonna put me on weight gainer already!

Reply 2: Lose weight? I finally gained 5kg & now you want me to lose it? No way!

Reply 3: Lose weight? My doctor say if I lose some more weight I’m gonna die.

And I’m out. Ultimate motive is to embarrass the person who ask me to lose weight. Put him/her in shame for asking me to lose weight. And also put out the message that I’m too thin already thus reflecting confidence in self & portraying a very good self-image. How you look at yourself will be how people are gonna look at you. Mmmm. Must think of more replies before CNY next year.

Must build up self-confidence & positive self-image. BUT must not be ugly & fat yet be all confident about self. That’s just plain disgusting. How confidence works is very easy:

0 – Very very very horribly ugly
100 – Very very very outstandingly pretty

If you are about 50, a good dose of confidence will boost you up to a 70.

However if you are 30 & below, any amount of confidence might actually risk bringing you down to a big fat ugly 0. [I think we can all learn this from a certain Am**da going SQ interview incident]

40 is a dangerous territory. Neither here nor there. Then that’s best to be yourself & just a dose of confidence.

80 & above, no need for confidence. If you are that pretty you pretty much have everything your way already.

I must say I’ve received so many comments from people [ranging from people who know me on the first name basis to my actual close friends] that I portray a high amount of confidence. That’s a good thing? I think? Well people who know me deep down will know that I’m someone with ZERO confidence. I do. So that’s something that I should be working. Maintaining my pretence confidence, and boosting my actual real confidence.

I feel that the key would be a good self-image. I strongly feel that if lesser people were to come up to me & tell me that I should lose weight or that I’ll look prettier if I do lose weight [I always get this after replying people that I think I look fabulous enough] I will definitely have a better self-image. I mean, currently, obviously people think that I’m fat which in turn lead me to believe that I AM fat when initially, I didn’t think that way. So point is to ignore all messages sent to me, & promote healthy self-image.

Mmmmm.

***

Well life has never been this unstable. I gotta say it’s a brand new experience for me.
Need to sleep now as big war tomorrow.

This time I really do need all the luck in the world.

Good night ♥

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2 Comments

  1. HAHAHA this post is fucking funny. whats with the gastric ulcer shiat lmao.

    Reply
    • Cdylee

       /  September 6, 2011

      Don’t act la.. I know you laughing at the certain Am**da going for sq interview right.. Eh the gastric ulcer is true hor! I really suspect I have okay!

      Reply

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