Straight Line

Status: Bored. Again. TTM.

Here I am, 11am, sitting down at my booth. It’s been a really really stagnant week. I felt so stuck in this cob web & being really tangled up with all it’s negativities that I feel so drained. Don’t even have the energy for simple social event like a supper.

Really cock up. This week really sucks. What’s with my heavy menses that stained my leggings, & an entire 12 hrs with my severe gastric pain I thought I had a perforation in my gastric. Bad week. And also, the very damaging boredom I experience everyday. It’s really stagnant, stewing in it’s dirty murky filth. The more stagnant it is, the more bitter I get. So it’s been rather bitter in me. Sulking away thinking of all the bad thoughts, and forgetting all the good things that I do have in life. Feeling resentful towards everything. Everything.

Sometimes you think it’d be easy to just stand up, grab hold of your life & get it back to where it was. But it’s not as simple as that. I don’t have that energy to create a revolution in me now where I wanna emerge as the king of me & I have no energy to fight the dementors in me. They are really sucking up all my happy thoughts.

I just need to get out there. I can’t just be sitting here the entire day & then going back home & sleep. It’s a very very unhealthy [yet healthy] routine. It’s devil. Wicked.

Anyway I was listening to Adele’s “Someone Like You”, trying to see what’s all the fuss about. The title itself reminds me of King of Leon’s “Use Somebody” but anyway, turns out it’s a wrong choice as such sad song just adds on to my bitterness. The kind of melody that a suicide-risk would love.

Anyway, speaking of Adele, I was talking to a friend & she asked me who I listen to. Of course being the loyal fan that I am, I proudly proclaim The Killers & also that question caught me off-guard because there isn’t a specific genre that I listen to. When I’m at my rocker self, of course I would love all the MCR, The Killers, Matchbox 20 [I know they are really old but they are awesome. Rob Thomas rocks my panties] etc. While when I’m at my indie self, of course it would be the Scissors Sisters, Bjorn etc. And when I’m totally clubbing self, then it would be the major R&B songs up on the market now.

So I don’t limit myself to a specific genre or a specific group. And so it’s hard to answer her, what music do I listen to. And so she was totally thinking like The Killers sucks & she used to like them but has grown out of them blah blah blah & that now, she’s more grown up & ask me if I’ve ever heard of Adele. I wanted to say…

“I listen to Adele even before she’s famous!”

Guess what I’m trying to say is, don’t follow the crowd. Be true to yourself.

Whahaha.

Just had lunch with boss. Boss’ treat. Curry fish head. Yummy but am worried about my gastric, shouldn’t be taking anything spicy or “drama”.

Okay enough ranting.

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