I don’t know. I guess I’m forced to stuck in this position where I’m neither here nor there. It’s not a bad thing. I’m neutral. I don’t belong to any ‘clans’. But I feel dangerous. I feel like I’m really neither here nor there. You know, actually, it doesn’t really matter because I don’t care and I don’t give s damn about them, its just a natural instinct to feel the fear when everybody is somewhere.

I’m not a multiple headed snake. I just do what I gotta do. Its like a survival trick. Its like just working. Just work just do what you came to do. I don’t know. I’m like lost between these crowds.

And well something huge is happening and somehow I got involved, but its the opposite side. I don’t have grudges against anybody and I know that. But I do feel that I ought to step up and stand by my friend. I don’t know. I feel sick to be in this position. Not only because it affects me when I work, it also made me feel like I’m betraying people. I don’t know. I shouldn’t be selfish.

Well. I just hope the affect won’t be on me. Just yet. I know it will affect me somehow. But just not tonight or tomorrow night. Really. Because I cannot work under such circumstances. I cannot. I cannot. I cannot. Please don’t let it happen yet. Its just gonna kill me.

I don’t know I don’t know. I’m abit selfish but I don’t care. I just wanna survive this through.

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