Cat

You know one day, I’m gonna stand up right high up for myself. And let no one to step on me or push me around. Someday, that day will come. Where I will let them know my limits.

He is right. Its never good to be the good person, to let people take advantage of you, to be a forgive and forget person. Its sad that we have to fight for ourselves, sell ourselves. Ultimately, its those bad people who survive. I blame it on mom. She was the one who always remind me to be the good person, that being taken advantage is actually taking other people’s advantage. And I believed. I believe in karma, in human faith, in the society, in that God is watching. But I’m wrong. Till now, I’m still wrong, still miserably stuck in my own wrong world. Still being taken advantage because no one taught me how to fight for my own rights.

Maybe God is indeed watching, but I’m losing faith. I’m losing patience, as all the goods that I’ve done seem to gone unnoticed. I cannot be putting this up for so long. I already start to hate everyone. Every human being. I see through them and everyone is the same to me. I’m afraid what I believed in was wrong all the while. There’s no karma, God is not watching, and I’m being stupid.

Maybe mom hadn’t really work in a real society before. Maybe her then society was much more kind. But her golden words, definitely put me in a shit life. Now, I even hate coming home. All because iim starting to really hate being ordered to do things. Its a kind of deep-set hatred that makes me flare up inside. I feel disgusted. Disgusted to the core.

I want to leave this place. But I’m afraid everywhere is the same. That this shadow will follow me where ever I go to. I have another 1 year to go. How can I carry on? How can I bear with the torments everyday?

I don’t want your thank you. I want your fair-treatment, your justice.

I’m dying inside from all these work. Everywhere I go, people just love to order me around. I’m a human too you know. Don’t kill the last kind-soul. That’s all the world can tolerate. I don’t deserve this shit.

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