yours truly

I am feeling really lost and tight now. Its like a 21st year old crisis. Like what am I gonna do for my life? Should I grow some new grass or is my bed just fine?

There’re so many things to contemplate before making any move. And I can’t seem to think for myself. Its like I’m not living. Time is living my life for me and I just need to blend in the flow. Just blend in. Just blend in. But that’s not what life’s about. You don’t blend in, u blend out, you don’t be the same, you do something different.

Ok, for now, this current moment, I am going to Melbourne after my bond finish. Of course its not gonna be all smooth sailing, its gonna be difficult. There’ll be stress, quarrels, unhappiness, cryings, screaming, regrets etc etc BUT this is it. This is the decision I made for myself. This is it.

You know, someday, I might regret making this decision, I might cry over it but if I don’t do it, I will regret too.

Anywayss, I’m at work now and it sucks. I dread. I dread dreading. So its really bad. I’m currently contemplating about transferring out, much like 2 years ago, hah. But this time is for a different reason. I don’t wanna be doing theatre in Melb, I don’t wanna learn a new skill in Melb. I wanna do it now so I can be fully prepared for it in Melb. But its a tough change. I don’t think sisters are going to let me through easily. I can only hope that my mind will settle down on a decision and stick with it soon.

:(

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