FB is crap.

Masagoes Muhd Isa Reaaaaallllyyy nowwwwww??

 

Masagoes just took the “What Kind of Good Looking Are You? (For Guys)” quiz and the result is Handsome.
You have such good genes that people wonder why you don’t model, but you kind of have a boring personality. That’s okay though. Some girls are superficial enough that it won’t matter.
because evil lives in my heart so i am allowed to laugh.
serious fb is crap man.
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Hormones in the air..

that’s why no more than 10 girls should work together in an air-tight environment.

if you know what i mean. girls will always be girls. we’ll talk nothing but shallow talks like gossips. put them together and you’ll get hell. even if we’re suppose to be angelic nurses. not that there’s any cat fights going on. just that i do feel that there’s too much gossips and back stabbings going on. however, im not gonna turn around to see if mine got stabbed. it’ll just make things worse. so i’ll just continue to watched and be entertained by all these women.

anyway, I’LL BE LEAVING IN TWO YEARS:):):)

 

******

 

things that i saw that i don’t like today:

1) indian couple walking together towards the lift with a NTUC trolley which was half-filled.

damn damn damn pissed off can. i feel like calling the police. i mean, hello? if you want a trolley can you please buy it yourself? do you know how inconsiderate you are pushing the trolley home and then leave it in the void deck for stupid teenagers to prank around? seriously you don’t need to be taught about all these do you! its for public use! its inconsiderate.

2) made worse when i saw another 3 ntuc trolleys around the void deck.

one day, all these people will be bang down by all these trolleys. seriously singaporeans, do you have to be so……… ah! im speechless.

3) carpark summon aunty

not that i own a car or something but thinking about how people hate them got me into hating them too. haha. and she is this mak cik kind with the gloves (act like very pro) and sunglasses (like wtf). reminds me why my uncle used to pour down buckets of water onto them when he was young and no government. they should change uniforms. seriously. the white uniform make people hate them. and stop the sunglasses thing. its just not cool. not pro. not nice.

4) the calendar

the calendar shows that today is only tuesday. meaning i have 4 more days to go before my off day. damn.

5) new faces in the ot

those new doctors are driving me mad. they’re like, so stranger. i miss the old batch who were like so fun and nice and funny. now i have to behave myself and talk like im not candy again. damn. it just make working worse than it is.

 

im going to watch my new japan drama call “scandal”.

i like the name. sounds very endearing. like an old friend:)

Kiss me

Kiss me out of the bearded barley
Nightly, beside the green, green grass
Swing, swing, swing the spinning step
You wear those shoes and I will wear that dress.

Oh, kiss me beneath the milky twilight
Lead me out on the moonlit floor
Lift your open hand
Strike up the band and make the fireflies dance
Silver moon’s sparkling
So kiss me

Kiss me down by the broken tree house
Swing me upon its hanging tire
Bring, bring, bring your flowered hat
We’ll take the trail marked on your father’s map

Everybody lied

at least 50 times in their lifes.

my most often lies are:

1) amount of money in my bank.

i always always always lie about it. always. because my bank is always always always lesser than expected to be. so i always always always lie to cover it to prevent jaw-drop incidents.

truth is: my current balance is $7.00. and im about a week away from payday.

2) my weight.

oh who doesn’t! atleast i never try to say im 45kg. i’ll just mumble something like  i don’t measure and am not sure how much i weigh.

truth is: oh you know i don’t weigh… i don’t.. not sure how much now… oh well..

3) my eyelashes

telling them that its real and that i use this special serum that makes it grow long. ordered the serum from a japanese online shop that cost $60 and able to last for 2 months. a very detailed and sounds-real story. but, i lied because of my job. so its a friendly lie to save my rice bowl.

truth: eyelash extension. lasting 4-6weeks. $20 each touch up.

4) my ‘o’ levels

telling them that i got a 14 for L1R4.

truth: oh well its partly right if you deduct my CCA ……..

5) my childhood ambition is to be a nurse

thats what i told everyone. so that they’ll think im so angelic. am gonna continue to say this!

truth: its true, but not since childhood. its since sec 1 when i kinda realise that i cannot make it (and true, i went to 3E5) that ive decided to take nursing. but i do love nursing and its something i’ll never regret and will do again in my next life!

6) i am a good french horn player

damn it. sucha lie. guess what, i lie through most of my parts in band. half blowing, half not blowing, half looking at eyecandy (*ex-bf’s best friend-guess who? LOL) half thinking about lunch half figuring out the notes half trying not to doze off half thinking about how tight my skirt is half trying to listen to my juniors so i can scold them later half looking and laughing at mr tan’s funny bear face half thinking about my then bf half trying to look pretty with blowing bong face half irritated by the loud trumpeters half thinking where to go after band half thinking i should rest because my lips are very tired half blah blah blah.

truth: im sucha good french horn player. im section leader excuse me!

 

 

ok i think i lie too little already cus thats all i can think of. so i think i should lie more and add to the list. hmmm.

Money love

the only reason why i am here sitting in front lf my lapping enjoying my extra extra extra cookies and cream milkshake is because im rich.

$$$

rich in my own way. rich in the way i love. rich in the way that i can get what i want most of the time. i may be poor to you according to my savings  but according to the things i own, i think im fucking rich:)

the minute i want something, i get it with my next pay. people grumble, tsk, reprimanded me endlessly about my expenditure. but i can’t help it. i am not a shopaholic. not fit to be one because i seldom shop. as a matter of fact, i don’t shop unless you count groceries shopping in.

i do watsons’, ntuc, guardian blah. but not topshop, zara, guess prada and what have you. i can spend hundred over in ntuc in matters of hours. but not in those overpriced overrated apparel shops. overrated to the max. neither will i go ga-ga over the latest it bag. overrated, again. and not what i want. i may carry that bag around for months to show off and slap any one in the face, but thats all. in my heart, i’ll be glad i bought that bag when people are jealous of me. unlike me lappy, i hide it at home, yet feel happy inside out.

maybe other people will get the urge to buy those it bag it fashion it heels whatever, and they might feel happy inside out too without showing off. so be it. those people can spend their money and feel totally worth it.

what i hate is people who buy for the sake of buying. because its an it bag. because other people are buying. because, just because. this people, will never find happiness. and will forever live in other people’s shadow, forever need people’s attention, forever not anything back, not feel happy inside out.

oh and another group of people i hate is, people who ask boyfriends, guy-friends, parents to buy for them. these people ought to die too. nothing feels better than spending your own money for something that you want so badly.

oh well, maybe nothing feels better than getting what you really want for free. hmmm. oh well, really.

maybe im just jealous of these people because i’ve never get anything from anyone. something that i really wanted. i always get them myself because i know no one will buy for me. oh well im just a sad lil piece of sorrowful nobody-love-child. hmmm.

but still, im so proud of myself that i get everything by myself.

by the way the first sentence above was suppose to show off to you that i just bought myself a blender. something that i had wanted for very long! and thus, the cookies and cream milkshake:)

Lap Chole

god im dying. this is my first presentation after so long. my butt is aching my shoulder are aching my neck is aching everywhere else is numbed.

oh well presentation is on thursday. so, good luck.

Running down

Run
Running all the time
Running to the future
With you right by my side

Me
I’m the one you chose
Out of all the people
You wanted me the most
I’m so sorry that I’m falling
Help me up lets keep on running
Don’t let me fall out of love

Running, running
As fast as we can
I really hope you make it
We’re running
Keep holding my hand
It’s so we don’t get separated

Be
Be the one I need
Be the one I trust most
Don’t stop inspiring me
Sometimes it’s hard to keep on running
We work so much to keep it going
Don’t make me want to give up

Destiny

do you believe in destiny? i totally believe in it. and i totally totally totally believe that my destiny is fixed. that my destiny will be to fall in love with someone who will not treat me well but will look not bad and thus i give in and live in sadness forever on.

im such a saddist but i think its true!

or would you rather believe that we can all change our destiny. like its a choice we can make. that every single time we make a decision, our destiny changes according to it.

mondayistuesdayiswednesdayisthursdayismonday

my night shift is finally over! monday to thursday! just a repitition of everyday! sleep till 7pm, wake up bath eat and off to work at 9pm. till 7.30am, home bath sleep till 7pm, wake up bath eat and off to work at 9pm. till 7.30am, home bath sleep till 7pm, wake up bath eat and off to work………………………………………………..

im serious. i hvae no time for any other thing in my life. i can’t imagine why will anyone wants to do permanent night shift. are they having depression and social withdrawal or something? i can’t even surf net! usually we can if we have no case during the night. but sadly, we do have many cases at night. and its crazy i tell you. its gonna be a boring entry but i have to do it and spell out every word on every night. cus that makes me happy to know that those terrible nights are over!

Monday: we have a fair amount of cases to do. appendix abscesses all the normal cases and we finished all by 3am. happily thought that we can relax and maybe sleep a little now but guess what, we got a rushed in cranio at 3.30am. and the neuro on-call was the devil black botak. and i was forced to do the case because i ahve to learn. but i was the 2nd scrub so i thought it should be ok. however, both of us couldn’t manage because he is a super speedy surgeon and wants everything by second. and i was as good as useless shit so someone else has to scrub in that makes us 3 scrubbies all together. thats my first time seeing triple scrub. 

anyway case end at about 6am. so thats my terrible first night.

Tuesday: we have a lot of appendix. and did at slow pace. but that was it. appendix all the way till morning. i was thankful that its just appendix.

Wednesday: best night ever. only had one laparotomy. and it was an open, see look, wash, close.

Thursday: bad bad last night. had laparotomy, appendix, abscesses. blah blah. and ortho had two trauma which was carry over to the morning shift and they had like maybe 20 admissions? crazy but im glad its my last night.

 

ok. its over. and i got my very-deserving $160 for it :)

 

*very boring i know and maybe nobody understand wtf im talking about but still!

Battle

right. tonight will be my first night with bloody M.

shall have a good courageous start. you know seriously, she is my greatest fear in the entire mot. she is so powerful because she always complain to sister for every little thing that she is not happy about. she can’t tolerate anything. and she is so petty that everything upsets her. and she has just ruin my appraisal because of her constant complains to sisters about me. and you should leanr about how much sisters like her. she is capable, she is bonded, she is initiative, she is good with words, she has so many leadership qualities and she is damn fake.

she has been made salleh’s liver scrub nurse because of her good scrubbing skills and her capabilities. i don’t know why salleh prefers an indian. and she has been made (unofficially) the remaining leading GS senior. meaning, she is able to change any rule in GS and well, scold anyone she like, and no one has the power to overrule her. no one dare to of course. and we can only watch her as she rule over her kingdom. she is not from GS you know. she was an ortho girl. damn. she should really go back. i envy ortho because they have better seniors. and even common enemy. but in gs its hidden darkness everywhere.

ok enough. one last thing.

im no afraid of you but i can leave in 2 years time and am not planning to stay if things don’t improve between us. im not afraid of you and your sickening complain. whatever you say won’t effect me at all because i know they’re all fake. just your baised observation. and i don’t give a damn to people like you. you know everyone worship you because they’re afraid of you and your complains. i know sister don’t like me. partly thanks to you. however, one day you’ll get back everything that you owe me. somehow. and everyone has been telling me that you’re ok with me. and that you don’t hate me. you did a great job ling through your teeth just to portray this good person image. whatever.

***

i’ve stop praying that things will be ok because the last time i prayed, i screwed up the entire op that even my friend-friend surgeons asked me what happened.

so, no praying. just do my best for everything and let nature take its place.

i miss the long weekend. like thu, fri, sat and sun. its so nice to not have any worry or dreadfulness about work because you know its so far away. sigh.

anyway, i should really sleep now because its 1pm now and i have to wake up at 7pm for work. that’ll make exactly 6 hours of sleep. but it’ll not be enough. and i can hardly sleep now because i’ve just wake up at 11am. and just had lunch. gosh. im gonna be tired tonight.

life has a way of teaching you lessons. good night.

i don’t know too

i wanna be rich and I want lots of money, 
i don’t care about clever I don’t care about funny, 
i wan’t loads of clothes and fuck loads of diamonds, 
i heard people die while they’re trying to find them.

and I’ll take my clothes off, and it will be shameless,
cause everyone knows it’s how you get famous,
i’ll look at The Sun & I’ll look in the Mirror,
i’m on the right track, yeah I’m onto a winner, 

i don’t know what’s right and what’s real anymore,
and I don’t know how I’m meant to feel anymore
and when do you think it would all become clear
cause I’m being taken over by the fear…

life’s about film stars and less about mothers
it’s all about fast cars and passing each other
but it doesn’t matter, cause I’m packing plastic,
and that’s what makes my life so fucking fantastic

Life’s a bitch..

and nobody’s gonna object to it. the older u’r, the bitchier it gets. and there’s nothing you can do but to admit defeat and let it get bitchier. than ever.

ok. so im a 20 going on 21 female attached to my bf of 2(?) years working as a nurse in the operating theatre passing instruments to surgeons and life seems at ease with itself.

what else can i ask for?

except for the fact that im a little too temperamental, a little to materialistic, a little too superficial, a little too jealousy, a little too demanding, a little too much of every bad thing.

so there’s quite a lot to complain about.

life’s quite a bitch isn’t it.

***

i’ll be on night next week and shall expect some drastic mood swings as body can’t get used to the time change, and as will be having pms too. and will be working with indian bitch who will gimme hell. just as well..

most of the time, i wish that i am a nicer person. a more patient person. a more gracious person. so that the world can be more peaceful than it is right now.

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